How Does Anger Affect People and Relationships?  

 

Anger like every other emotion is found in all human beings. It’s quite natural to be angry. Everyone has been influenced by it now and then, but it is important that you know how to handle it. If left unmanaged it can lead to conflicts, resentment, and friction between individuals. This will eventually destroy the relationship. Knowing the consequences of anger would help a person understand and master Anger Management.

Here are 3 ways in which unchecked anger affects relationships:

1. Expressing Anger to Fear and Distrust

In any relationship, a father-daughter relationship, mother-son relationship, employee-employer relationship, or even friendship, anger can cause fear and tension. When you lash out, especially to the ones who look up to you and depend on you, you sow the seeds of fear in them. For example, if a parent yells at her child in a moment of anger, the child may grow up to fear her mother. This fear eventually leads to distrust. You would be a violent and unapproachable person for them.

Anger Management Tip:

Rather than lashing out at another person, if the actions of that person have upset you, it’s better to have a talk. Sit down and let them know how you feel, what they did wrong, and why you’re angry. Shouting or yelling will only lead to further conflicts or problems.

If you’re bothered by something else, communicate that to the other person. They’ll be able to guide you on how to find a solution to what’s bothering you. It is important that you learn to control your anger and communicate exactly what you feel in relationships to preserve them.

2. Unexpressed Anger to Distance and Resentment

The polar opposite of lashing out is bottling the anger up. When you hold on to anger without either expressing it or communicating it to the other person or at least talk about it with someone whom you trust, it can damage relationships internally.

The anger builds up inside you every passing day. It’ll avoid temporary conflict but cause permanent damage to the relationship. You’ll unknowingly grow to resent the other person. And as long as the anger still remains in you, you would keep the other person at a distance.

Anger Management Tip:

You are more inclined to hold in anger in close relationships, like with your best friend or husband or parents or even your children. You bottle it up thinking it’s better to avoid the conflict but it is more damaging to the relationship as a whole. It’ll reflect in your behaviour towards them.

You need to remember that sometimes it’s better to have conflict. A difference in opinion is helpful for the growth of individuals. Rather than bottling it up, express your anger and frustration to the other person. Communicate it with clarity. Remember Pro tip 1: Don’t lash out; communicate.       

3. Anger to Create Tension and Frustration

When a person is angry, their sense of judgment becomes clouded. The decisions and choices they make while they’re angry can affect relationships quite severely. A person can end up blaming another without due reason and easily jump to conclusions.   This can cause friction in their relationship, especially if the other person is wrongly accused. If this tension arises with a colleague, the problem may escalate drastically and end up in a way that can hinder your career.

Anger Management Tip:

Stop and breathe. Anger can misguide you and cloud your sense of judgment. It’s better to make a decision after you’ve calmed down. Before you accuse or blame another, confront them and clear the air. It might just be a misunderstanding.

Don’t be hasty in your actions when you’re angry. Remember to relax and resolve the issue. Don’t let the anger mount up, let it dissipate. And remember, communication is key.

Remember that lashing out wouldn’t be the solution, but to talk and expressing your feelings is the key. Have clarity in your words. Use words like “I”. Let them know how hurt you are. Concentrate on your feelings. Tell them how it affected you. If you’re angered by something you see when you’re in public, make sure you don’t lash out unless it’s a situation demanding such a reaction. Try to step out and take a breather or go for a walk. Some situations do not require your reaction.

You can’t take back words once its said. Anger has destroyed more relationships and taken countless lives. So, chill out. Breathe. Anger isn’t the solution. Communication is. Communicate and strengthen your bonds. Create a healthy atmosphere within your relationships.